Can’t tell her so, leaving it here.
Sorry, for just going away and, thanks for ghosting me.
the days nowadays don’t feel exciting
like the days you were there with me
when we listen to some old songs on loop
when my failed attempts make you laugh
when I annoyingly told you every moment to take care of yourself
see the god must be making these things up
always get back to me claiming I was never enough
never enough to give you the time you needed
never enough to give the care that you needed
but, this time I tried,
I gave my best to everything
and, never took you for granted
even, how could I?
you always reminded me of the uncertainty
the time we spend together
even if you don’t feel anything
the miss you told me after the day we met
and, the hug which I couldn’t have
make me feel something
after a long time, I thought of sharing my happiness with someone
how could I say I don’t feel for you anything?
when nobody wants to be with me,
you asked me to stay with you
every time you made an effort,
I pushed myself to never turn you off.
I never was a person who loved late nights calls,
but, with you, those calls feels likes
the thing I adore for years
even the silenced shared with you over calls,
made me in peace, remind me of love
I am a guy who just freaking wants you to be mine and just mine. I don’t want to share you with anybody, and, when you reject my calls and messages, it made me realize I am not good enough.
When I talked with you, I had this thing in my mind. The thing is if the sadness she has is still there when I am with her then, what is the reason for me being there.
What am I?
When I feel that I am not improving your life and your mental and physical health is just heated up and get drained then, me actually in your life isn’t good. I am toxic and I am just not brave enough to tell you that you’re mine and I am taking care of you. And, everything’s gonna be alright.
I just afraid of losing you but, even the coward me is there, just take care of yourself and your loved ones.
I had a really good time with you. Thank you.
